My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
