bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
