just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
