is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement 😭😂
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