Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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