i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
