We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
