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he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
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