Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
