you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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