just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
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