Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize