Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
