Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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