Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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