I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
