nut hugger
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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