I understand Curling. That high.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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