i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
You've changed since you got that strap on
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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