Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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