There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize