Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
false alarm, still single
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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