If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
