thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
