Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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