Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Randomize
