would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
