the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Dignity is for republicans.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
