So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Randomize
