the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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