I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
