Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
