He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
this boner is exhausting
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
