Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
