We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
17 year olds will be the death of me.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I have grass duct taped all over my body
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Randomize
