She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
