Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
So much Jack, so little girl.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
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