soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
