That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize