im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
well most of my day revolves around power hour
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
