dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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