Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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