i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
