you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
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