I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
