It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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