but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
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