you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
