we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
