Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Randomize
