i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
