O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
