I would go down on you faster than GM stock
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
