he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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