i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
