Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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