you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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