But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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