I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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