Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
