Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
