Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
