ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
