i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
