Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Boobs are out for the taking
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
