My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
