she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
