Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
It was a blind-side dick pic.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
