THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
