He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
