Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
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