none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
