Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
