IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
